COMING HOME

Jaismine was sitting near the French windows of her room. She sat on a black leather couch in her extremely dark and gloomy room. She had not switched on any lights even though it was evening. Her mother had told her not to look at the setting sun but it was the setting sun that she liked, when the sky turned in the shades of her favorite colors pink, orange, red, blue-black and then finally black. She felt as if she could spend her entire life sitting by those windows provided it would always be a sunset.

The birds were flying to their homes. Jaismine felt a piercing sensation in her chest. She was envious of the birds flying to their home.

“Do I have a home?” she wondered.

Every day she felt as if she did not belong to this world. She could not connect with anyone. There was a persistent feeling of loneliness that nagged her all the time. While her body was present there in her room, her soul was flying about the in the garden, touching leaves and fruits, swishing water at some invisible being like the disowned angel of God. Slowly, her soul to returned to her room and she felt a jerk in her neck.

She thought, “I don’t have a home. These birds are better off than me. They can fly towards the setting sun, while I have been forbidden to watch the melting sun.”

The sky had turned into the shades of blue and black. The chirping of the words had been replaced by the sounds of night. She could hear the cricket sing, it’s never ending sad song. The wind was caressing her rosy cheeks and flirting with her untied hair. Still Jaismine felt lonelier than ever before. It was getting cold and she hugged herself. Tears started to sting in her eyes and finally fell down like dew drops.

The world felt like miserable place. People were killing each other, gossiping, planning conspiracies and hurting each other. It felt as if God had forsaken not only her but the entire world. She knew her gloom would vanish in the morning when the sun would arise from the cracks of dawn. Her indecisiveness and insecurity about life pained her because there was no release for now. She knew this would pass as nothing lasts forever. The clouds of gloom would lift. She was disgusted with herself for feeling the pain that she felt.

Jaismine wanted to do something about her present state.

“I can not go on like this. I am not going to sit here and let life take its own course like some wild river. She was the mistress of body. She was God of her temple like body.”

Her body felt old even though she had seen only twenty-two springs. Her body was like a castle wrapped by huge serpent. If she let the serpent tighten its grip, the castle will be in ruins. Something out be done, she thought.

The stream of her consciousness was broken as she heard loud and heavy footsteps outside her room. She stood up and wiped her face with the back of her hand. She turned her face into a picture of complete calmness. She saw somebody enter her room with a light in his hand. She walked towards him and saw his face in the light of the lamp. It was her friend, Aditya. His face shone like a bright sun. He was grinning like a school boy as if nothing was wrong with the world and her.

“Have been crying, huh!” he said.

She looked beautiful to him even with that sad expression on her face. He held her hand and took her out of her room. Lit the fire and handed her a cup of coffee. His eyes seemed to say that this world isn't such a bad place. Obviously, he couldn't make the serpents and demons go away, but he made a silent promise of being besides her. He pulled her out of her thoughts by holding her hand tightly, yet lovingly as if to make her stay, as if to prevent her from going back to her thoughts. That day, he had taken her into the light and showed her what all blessings she had. She had a home and it was where he was. Aditya talked to her about their childhood, silly games that they played, dreams that they had dreamed together and about found and lost love. He made jokes and made her laugh till they both were rolling on the floor laughing.

Finally, she felt as if she had come home. From then on, Aditya was there for her, without imposing himself on her. She stood by him through thick and thin. They drew strength from each other like never ending reservoir of energy. He gave her time to be alone and ponder over life and its existential questions. Whenever she felt strangulated by the serpent, he would save her from her thoughts by reminding her of all the good things. She walked beside him everyday and helped him through the struggles of life. Although he was very normal guy, he was her knight in shining armor and although she was tortured soul, she was the princess of his heart.